My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
