Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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