ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
