he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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