i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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