haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
