My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my poor anus
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
