I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize