bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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