but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
