Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
