Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
