weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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