The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
