I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
