i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
