We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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