So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
