She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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