Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize