Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
