My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
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I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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