she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
