Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
