Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
