I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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