...so i touched it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
