Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
