Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
