If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
