yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
