It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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