she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
