Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize