oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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