i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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