I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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