in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
