Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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