i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
