I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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