my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
