afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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