She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
