I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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