Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's the barista slut.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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