did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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