They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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