Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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