peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
