Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
