were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
