just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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