I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
