i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
