Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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