Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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